Is It Okay If I Don’t Want To Be Mother?

Motherhood is god’s best gift to humankind and women are blessed to be able to give birth to new life. All this sounds so wonderful and romantic. I know there will be pain, contractions, labor and then whole responsibility to raise a child. Yeah I know those moments will be precious. But there is one little glitch I don’t want to be mother. This is what I heard from someone I know in person. She has been married for more than five years. She has been postponing about having a baby for so long. The real reason is she doesn’t want to plan a baby at all. Not that she is scared of any pain or responsibility; it’s just that she don’t want children at all. When she revealed her inner feelings in front of her in laws, parents, her husband everyone is just blaming and currently her life is not on track. Crying her heart out she said if she is a criminal to think like that, a sinner?

That made me thinking that is it a sin or something if you don’t want to have kids? In country like India people pray for a son rather than daughter so that their family name remains in this fragile world for long.

After speaking to her I just had a memory flashback of lot of girls who shared that they don’t want to have kids. Some due to career as they don’t want to take break, some say that why to bring a child in this bad world (reason fair enough, even I think so this way), some just don’t want to take additional responsibility as they are already managing household, job, in laws, relatives and other things in life single handed.

I remember a couple whom I met when I was still a teenager. They were open about the fact that they didn’t wanted to have kids. Lot of people were talking rubbish about them, that why on earth they don’t want to have children and all sort of things. I found that really cool. I mean it’s their choice and additionally atleast they would take some burden of overflowing population from Indian land (bad joke)

Lot of girls (yeah especially girls) start feeling guilty about them or I can say are made guilty for not wanting to have children. It is okay to think that way. First of all remove any kind of guilt from your heart. Second if you don’t want to have kids you should be very transparent with your partner. Tell him upfront before getting married about how you feel about kids. If your boyfriend is someone who adore kids and you is just the opposite than you have to reconsider your marriage decision. What if your heart changes after marriage after seeing all responsibilities? Then talk to your partners, delegate your responsibilities to other family members. Be upfront and tell you need some time and allow yourself some free time to think about. This decision should be well considered as you won’t have all life since your biological clock is ticking.

To guys please don’t make your girl feel guilty if she does not want to have kids. It is okay to feel that way. It is as simple as you don’t want cheesecake (ok it’s not that simple) but still it is a matter of choice.

Feel free to share your thoughts in comments section below. 

Stick to R&W

Megha Gupta 

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